You ever have those moments in your life where you do or you think you do everything right but you still end up wrong? Someone asks you what 2+2 is and you say 4, but for some weird reason the answers 5? I mean, WTF?! Towards the end of university this year, I had an assignment to do and my lecturer sat down with me and told me what to do, what to add and takeaway. So I did everything he said and I got a 3rd. A third is equivalent to a D grade I think. Again, WTF?! How can I add everything you tell me to add and takeaway what you don’t like and still get a 3rd?! I’m writing this post because a few things like that have happened recently and have happened in the past so I thought I’d vent about them. When I say this I am dead serious, if anyone reading this has any answers to these then please tell me because I’ve obviously missed out on some key life manuals here.
This breakup thing that happened recently that I’ve been venting about to you lot, (Yes, I should shut up now) is bothering me again. A week ago, we talked and I said there are some things you said that really upset me and I’m really struggling with being friends at the moment, so I need some time away. I said this because I want to stay friends with them and I need to stop having ago at them for what happened. So I thought taking some time away was a good idea. She agreed as well, so I’ve had a week away from her with no interaction what so ever. I even made a countdown timer for 2 weeks. It’s been a week and I miss her a lot so I thought I’d message saying I still need a week away but we can talk today for a bit if you want too. She ignored me. So I messaged again “?” and her response was “I can’t talk to you yet”. Again, WTF! You ended it with me! You’re the one that wanted to stay friends originally after this ended. You’re the one that’s continuously hurt me! What am I doing wrong here? So being the push over I am I messaged back saying “I never meant to hurt you, I’ll go away for another week, I’ll always be here if you need me and I hope you’re okay”. Please someone tell me what I’m doing wrong here? Throughout this entire thing I’ve done what she’s wanted and the one time I say I need time away from her I’m wrong apparently.
I also joined an online dating website, it rhymes with Armoury (think I can say that). Yes all my friends have made fun of me so don’t worry you’re not the only ones. I filled out all the bio info, I followed all the guides on how to write a message to someone and what to write on your own page. Nothing. Hasn’t worked at all. I messaged one girl I matched with and asked her questions about things she wrote on her page. She decided to change her bio and answer all my questions there but completely ignored talking to me. I mean, that is a real kick in the head. What am I doing wrong? Am I really just that ugly? Because people tell me I’m not but I obviously must be. I’ve done everything dating websites and people have suggested to me about dating online and still, nothing has worked. People don’t even say “hi” back. They just ignore me.
Trying to be healthy is wrong because I just end up diabetic somehow, trying to be nice in relationships is wrong because they just end up leaving me, doing university work the correct way is wrong because I just end up with a D. What am I doing so wrong? Has life just got it out for me or something? Was I just a mistake and now the world is doing everything it can to make me miserable and make me kill myself? I wish I could show you a picture of myself and then you could tel me if I’m ugly or not but then that would ruin the whole staying anonymous part. If someone has any advice for me that would be great because I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong. No one is telling me. I need the life manual because I feel like I’m the only person that didn’t get one. I feel like such a shit person :(. As always feel free to vent about what’s going on in your lives or please, out of all the posts I’ve made this would be the one where I need advice so if you have any then please let me know. I hope your weeks are starting better than mine. Thanks again x