A message to my ex

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I need your help. So as you know, I’ve been trying to stay friends with the girl that recently split up with me. Again, we weren’t officially together because she had and has a boyfriend but we were hooking up all the time and she promised she’d be with me and she told me she loved me so we basically were together unofficially. I want to send her this message but I feel like it makes me seem weak and pathetic. I’m holding onto the idea that one day we’ll end up together and I probably need to let go of that but I’m finding it hard. Anyway, I want people’s opinion on this message I’ve written out. Should I send or not? And if I do, what should I change about it? Your opinions and advice would really help me a lot and I’d really appreciate it. So here it is…

Okay, so here’s what I want to say. I think you’re so stupid for ending things between us. We could of made each other so happy and you made me feel the best I’ve felt in years. I felt like you needed me and that made me feel worth while and really good about myself. I know you love your boyfriend but I really think I could of made you so much happier than you are with him. We were great together and I know we weren’t actually together but it felt real for me. After how he’s treated you, I just don’t get why you threw me away. You also say you’re closing a chapter in your life and moving on but you really haven’t. Nothings changed in your life at all. All you’ve done is hurt me and got rid of me. That isn’t changing anything. I get you want to be well but if you did you’d be changing a lot more than just hurting me. I think it’s fucking unfair.

Next, you talked me into all of this. I wanted to have one night with you but you kept coming back to my room. You talked me in to being with you. You said the age difference didn’t matter. You promised we’d be together. You were the one that told me you loved me first. After everything I told you about my ex and what she did to me and how unwell it made me, I just can’t believe you went and hurt me the way you have. I trusted you and you broke every promise you made. You lied and that lie you told **********, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for that. You were even talking about holidays together. You talked me into everything we had and you’re the one that ruined it.

Lastly, I’m not even sure we can be friends anymore. This is so difficult for me because I still love you. I really care about you and it’s hard being friends with someone who doesn’t feel the same way. I think I’ve just been holding onto the idea that one day we’ll eventually end up together and I think I need to let go of that. This is so difficult for me and I don’t think you actually realise how tough it is. You said you found it tough but you’re the one that ended it. I am struggling so much right now with everything and I needed you. Especially with everything that’s going on with me. I’m finding it really difficult that we don’t talk everyday like we used too. I came back to this university for us. If I knew you were going to hurt me, I would of gone somewhere else.

I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or guilt trip you as you said last time. That really pissed me off you saying that but you meant a lot to me. So I’m going to find this tough. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I get you got over me within a day but I find dealing with emotions tough and letting go of you is taking me a lot longer. I really hope we can be friends but right now, it doesn’t even feel like we are. I will keep trying for you but just please understand how tough this is for me. You barely even talk to me anymore so it feels like you don’t even care about being friends even though you keep saying you do. I’m the one that always messages you and you’ve just started ignoring me. 

Okay I think I’m done. I hope I  don’t come back and say something else but my memory sucks atm so if I do I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure I’ve said what I needed to say. I’m sorry if it upsets you and I really don’t mean too but I needed to say what I’ve said. I didn’t want to say it as it makes me feel weak and pathetic but I just feel like you should know how I’m feeling atm. 

So that’s the message. Should I send it or not? Any advice anyone can give would mean the world to me. Again I know it’s pathetic but this is how I’m feeling. I’m not sure if I should send it because I did all this with my ex and it just made me things worse. Thanks for reading 🙂 Hope you’re having a good day 🙂 .

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