Going bald :(

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A lot of men go end up losing hair and going bald and 20% of men end up going bald before the age of 30. Sadly, I’m in that 20% :(.

I started noticing I was losing hair around 2 or 3 years ago. I basically had no hair on my crown and I got really worried and upset but, I didn’t do anything about it. It then started getting worse and worse. I’ve been using Rogaine since November last year but it hasn’t really worked and if anything, I’ve lost even more hair! My hairline has pushed even further back at the sides and the small bald spot I had at the crown of my head has got even bigger and moved even closer to my hairline. For someone who has depression, type 1 diabetes and memory problems, this is just icing on the cake. I really just want to die. Everyday I wake, 2 or 3 times throughout the day and before I go to bed, I think about ending my life. As my hair has been getting worse, I’ve thought about it more and more and it’s stressing me out so much. I dropped out of university so I could get well and go back but going bald is just making me more depressed. I don’t know if stressing about it is making me go bald quicker or if it’s a combination of things such as my poor diet and other health problems. I just know that it’s getting to the point where I need to shave all my hair off and it terrifies me.

As I’ve mentioned a million times, I can’t even get a girlfriend with hair! So what chances do I stand without hair! In my head, practically 0! All I want to do is cry and overdose on insulin but I can’t :(. I don’t know what to do. I went to see a consultant or hair specialist about going bald. We talked about having a hair transplant but it costs so much money! It’s roughly between £6,000 to £12,000 and as I currently only have £50 in my bank account, I’m quite a way off. The man I spoke to was quite nice as he said my hair was very healthy and getting a transplant now would be way to early. He said I probably won’t need one until I’m 30 but to take photos at the end of every month so I can see how fast my hair is going which I do, but it’s just making me more and more depressed. As well as that, I’m 27 so I’ve got less than 3 years! I’ve been buying Rogaine to try to help as well as other products such as Watermans Grow Me shampoo and conditioner. I’ve also bought Strand Maximizer to help. The problem with all of these is that it takes up a lot of time to use these products and when I’m going out, it either makes me late or stresses me out even more because I can’t get it done right or it takes up to much time.

I’ve been doing a lot of research into going bald, with the main focus on being if women find bald men attractive. I’ve put a few links to the websites I’ve viewed below if you want to have a look.  One of the websites had the pie chart below which are the results of asking 50 women if they mind dating a balding or bald man. 76% of which said no which has made me feel a lot better but still, that’s only 50 women and they don’t really go into too much detail about the study.

https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/what-50-women-really-think-of-balding-men

balding men statistics, what women think of bald men
Another link is to the student room which is asking students if they find bald men attractive. Most of them, saying no which makes me feel even worse as I am a student going back to university in September and I’ve never seen one bald guy there :(. Then I found a YouTube video of two women talking about bald guys being attractive and they said yes so :/.

 

I’m just really scared at the moment because I can’t get a girlfriend with hair, so how am I supposed to get one without hair. I know it’s stupid but being in a relationship and having a girlfriend is so important to me and this just lowers my odds even more. I think I need to start looking after myself better and maybe that will help my hair. Stop eating crap/junk food, start doing some exercise, stop taking too much insulin and not dealing with my diabetes and to try to distress myself.  I’m sure none of those things will stop or even slow down my hair loss but it might so it’s worth a shot. Even if it doesn’t, it might make me feel better :). My goal is to save money so I can eventually pay for a hair transplant but at the moment, I’m just trying my best to slow it down and cover it up. I know you’re meant to just shave your hair off as its way less attractive trying to cover it up but I’m’ just not ready to shave my head. I can’t :(. I just can’t do it yet. I’m not brave enough to take that step and I’d rather kill myself.

If anyone has any advice on hair loss or going bald, I’d really appreciate it. It would be great just to talk to someone about it and to someone who can relate or help. I just feel so down, alone and upset about it. Anyway thanks for reading 🙂 Feel free to message and leave comments 🙂

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4822880

Most//www.bbc.com/future/story/20160921-the-benefits-of-going-bald

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-mating-game/201612/do-women-find-bald-men-be-more-attractive

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Birthday

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Hello,

Today, is my birthday. I feel really horrible today due to my Aunt. She’s a bully and is horrible to me everyday. She has ago at me for staying in my room, she had ago at me today for calling up the doctors to ask about having some medication sent to the pharmacy, she had ago at me for turning up the shower heat and had ago at me for not being outside for very long. This is what she’s like everyday and I should probably vent about it on here more as it’s just making me feel suicidal. I would list what she’s done since I moved in but I just wanted to list what she’s done today because, it’s my birthday. I thought on today she would be less of a bitch but no. She’s just carried on bullying me as she always does and normally I’d stand up for myself but I don’t as I’m scared she’ll throw me on the street and I’ll have nowhere to live.

I wanted to make a post on my birthday today as ever since my 18th birthday, my birthday has always sucked. It’s probably because on my 18th my ex broke up with me and ever since then I’ve suffered with depression so I just think of my birthday as a memory of my break up and the start of my depression. This birthday has sucked for a number of reasons and here’s the list:

1.) None of my family except my dad sent me a birthday present or card. My aunt and her son got me one but it’s a mug that says “His Lordship”. Now I’m sure I’m probably over thinking it and I’m sure anyone else would appreciate it but I swear it’s just my aunt taking a shot at me as she’s a bitch. Making out I’m some sort of snob or whatever. It’s just meant to be an insult of some sort.

2.) The other day I sent a message to my dad saying I hate living here and she’s making me feel suicidal. It’s horrible and it’s making me more unwell and ill and please, please can I come live with you. His response, I’m blackmailing him. Now normally when someone tells you they’re feeling suicidal, it’s probably not the best thing to insult them. I wasn’t blackmailing him in any way, I was just making him aware because last time I tried to take my own life, he got annoyed because I didn’t tell him. He says he want’s to talk about it when I go down and see him for Christmas but I have nothing more to say to be honest. I told him how I’m feeling and he insulted me, so I don’t really think there’s anything more to be said.

3.) I’m not sure if I said this in my previous post but I begged my mum if I could come live with her instead of living with her sister and her response was no. I bring a violent and aggressive nature to the household. I didn’t help over the summer and I’m a horrible human being. Firstly, I washed and wiped up on a regular basis and although it might not have been everyone’s plates or items, I consistently cleaned mine. Secondly, I went on many dog walks and walked Willow (Dogs name) on a regular basis. She also said I spent all my time in my room and my aunt has ago at me constantly for doing that at her house too. So to my mum and aunt. I stay in my room as I feel comfortable there. I feel safe and I’m able to have fun, get work done, relax and enjoy myself. When I’m around my mum and sisters they will just argue with me and I’m not sitting around my aunt to hear her have ago at me constantly and be consistently racist.

4.) Me and the girl I broke up with are now getting on really well. It’s amazing and I’m having so much fun talking to her and we’re really good friends now. I was meant to see her today and travel down to university but she cancelled. She cancelled because she’s very unwell and I totally understand that because she is really unwell but it would have been nice to get away from my aunt and have a nice happy day with someone I genuinely love. Instead, I’ve had to listen to my aunt treat me like shit and insult me while I sit at home doing nothing.

So those are the reasons why yet again, my birthday has sucked. All I want to do, is overdose on insulin. That’s all I want to do right now. I’d be able to escape and I wouldn’t be happy because I believe when you die, it’s just like sleeping without any dreams or nightmares. It’s just nothing. Sure I’d love there to be a heaven and if there is and I make it there, I am seriously going to go off at god for giving me such a shit life. I mean, dick haha. Sorry to anyone religious. Apparently last year my flat mates were lovely and made me a cake and decorated the flat but because of what happened in January with my coma, I can’t remember. Obviously I wouldn’t remember the one nice birthday I had. Anyway I’m just really unhappy today and I’d just for once, want to have a happy birthday. Here’s hoping if I live until next year, I’ll have one n 2019. If anyone has any advice on dealing with depression on your birthday or just having a shit birthday in general, please comment and make me feel better haha. I hope you’re all having a good and if it’s your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!