Life of Pi – Saying goodbye


life of pi

Recently, the Life of Pi movie came into my head. I have the book but I’ve just not got round to reading it yet. I’ve seen the movie though and it’s now one of my favourite movies of all time! I only saw it because I wanted something in the background while I tried to complete some university work but I ended up being caught off guard by how amazing it was. It has to be one of the most captivating stories told and I highly recommend seeing the film.

I bring the movie up because recently, me and the girl who ended things between us recently said she didn’t want to talk anymore. Basically, she’s become very unwell mentally and she’s had to drop out of university. She’s decided or the people who are treating her mental health decided, that using her phone is bringing down her mood and making her more unwell. So for the next 6 months/ year +, she won’t be using her phone anymore.  We recently said goodbye to each other on Facetime  , as she doesn’t know when she’ll speak to me again. She’s not getting rid of her phone completely which kind of made me think she just doesn’t want to speak to me anymore but she got annoyed by that so I was and am probably over thinking it. Anyway, not being able to talk to her anymore and having to say goodbye, made me think of the “Life of Pi” ending. I’m not sure if it’s the same as the book and I do plan on reading the book, but   it’s a beautiful ending to the movie and I feel like it relates or I can relate to it. If you haven’t seen it, spoilers coming up but I’ve put a link to the two videos for the ending below. I do recommend watching the movie though before you watch the ending clips as I feel like it won’t be as moving without seeing the whole film.

“I suppose in the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most, is not taking a moment to say goodbye”. This line resonates with me so much. With my first ever girlfriend, the one who hurt me so badly and who has been a huge part of me being so mentally unwell for a long time, we didn’t end on good times. Therefore, there was never a proper goodbye or any sort of goodbye. I never got any answers of why she ended things or what I did wrong. She just left me. She was horrible about me and to me. When Richard Parker in the movie leaves, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. “At the edge of the jungle, he stopped. I was certain he was going to look back at me. Flatten his ears to his head, growl. That he would bring our relationship to an end in someway… But he just stared ahead, into the jungle. And then Richard Parker my fierce companion, the terrible one who kept me alive…disappeared, forever from my life”.

Every time I watch that scene, I start crying. It doesn’t matter if I watch it once or twenty times in a row, I will always cry at it. The scene is so beautifully crafted and the acting is fantastic but like I said, it’s one of my favourite movie endings because I can relate to it. Goodbyes are really important or at least they are to me. When you get up and leave someone or you hang up the phone, you always say goodbye. It’s a nice resolution and a stamp on things ending. I never had that in my first relationship and that has always bothered me. With my most recent situation, we said goodbye to each other but it just didn’t feel right. I feel like more should have been said, that she should have given me more answers to questions I had or at least given me longer to say goodbye. But the phone conversation was about 15 minutes, I got no answers to questions I had and I have no idea when or if I’ll ever speak to her or see her again. It’s really upsetting

Anyway, I wanted to share the movie with you and how I relate to it because that goodbye I had happened pretty recently and I just wanted to talk about it. Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone? Have you not got the answers or the perfect goodbye or ending you wanted? Have you had to say goodbye when you didn’t want too and how did you handle it? Leave a comment and let me know. I hope you enjoyed the read 🙂


Heroes and Villains

Venom poster

What exactly is a hero and what is a villain? Well, the hero is usually the good person, the person we root for. The villain is the person we root against, the bad person. Examples of hero’s would be Superman, Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, Robin Hood or Indiana Jones.  Examples of villains would be The Joker, Voldemort, Darth Vader, Count Dracula or even the Shark in Jaws.  We root for what ever feels normal, what we think is right and good. So then let me give you a scenario and you tell me who’s the villain in this story.

A man, his wife and child are homeless on the street. They haven’t eaten for days and are starving for food. The father decides to break into a store and grab some food for his family. As he leaves the store though, a policeman is walking by and catches the man stealing the food. He chases after him and catches the man as he arrives back with his family. The man begs the policeman to let him go and to give the food to his family. The policeman says no, arrests the man and takes the food with him. So who’s the bad guy in this story? Is it the man for stealing food from the shop? Or is it the policeman for leaving a starving family with no food? Not so black and white anymore is it? Sure the man broke the law and so he should be arrested for his crime but he didn’t do it to hurt anyone, he did it to save his family. Good and bad are two sides of the same coin. In an article by Evan A. Poole called Heroes vs Villains, he says ” we root for the ‘hero’ to get his revenge, yet we then tell others an eye for an eye leaves us blind. We want the ‘villain’ dead, but we believe murder is wrong” (Poole, Evan A. 2017). He continues and says “The villain is someone who takes the option that benefits him, in spite of the costs. What’s actually wrong with that? The hero does the exact same thing!(Poole, Evan A. 2017)”. What we think is right may be bad in someone else’s eyes. In my life, I tend to think more about other people and taking care of them than myself. I put other people first before myself. I was talking to one of my friends the other day and he said maybe that’s why I fail in relationships I have. Because I put them first and I only look after them and I don’t ever think about myself and what I need or want. I just want to make other people happy and not myself. I’ve just always wanted to treat people in a good and kind way. If you’ve seen the movie Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix, there’s a line in the movie that I really love and want to share with you. It’s from the character Sirius and he says “You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person who bad things have happened too”. He continues and says “The world isn’t split into good people and death eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are”. This line means a lot to me because I’ve always viewed the world as black and white. You have good people and bad people but the world isn’t like that. The world is grey. Both light and dark mixed together. I try to act on my light side and I try and be a good person for the most part. I’m not perfect but I try to be. I sometimes wish more people would try and be like that.

I called this post Heroes and Villains because I don’t feel like a hero but I feel like I’m the only good person sometimes. I feel like maybe I should just treat people badly and  be selfish and arrogant because I feel like being nice just makes me miserable as the world keeps punishing me. I’d love to know what your thoughts on heroes and villains are. Do you think the world is black and white or is it more grey? I think I need to get out of this habit of viewing the world as black and white. Feel free to leave your comments or vent about what’s happening in your life. Thanks for reading :).

James Bond,007

James Bond,007So recently I’ve been going through the Daniel Craig James Bond movies. You know, instead of doing my dissertation research (Smooth move).

I grew up with James Bond and saw my first Bond movie when I was 7 or something. It was around that age anyway. I’ve seen every Bond movie there’s been and my favourite has to be Casino Royal. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend it. The first movie I watched was Goldfinger with Sean Connery. I fell in love with the character and I guess in some way he’s a sort of hero of mine. Even the car in that movie (Aston Martin DB5) has always been my dream car. The characters class, intelligence, smooth talk with the ladies, cunning and calm demeanour have always been traits I wish I had. Nothing ever seems to phase him and he gets through and over any situation, no matter how impossible it may seem. He’s almost a sort of superhero. However, saying all of that, Daniel Craig has to be my favourite James Bond of all time. I say he’s my favourite because in my opinion, he brings a human side to the character. What I mean by this is that he does get beaten up, he isn’t always perfect and he does get emotionally hurt.  Casino Royal proved that. He’s the first James Bond I’ve actually been able to relate too. Like I said, he’s always appeared to be some kind of superhero and I’m not saying Daniel Craig’s Bond isn’t because he still has all those amazing traits and abilities the other Bonds have but the human side he brings to the character is really relatable. Not just to me but I’m sure to everyone in one way or another. He experiences love, heartbreak, loss, anger, frustration and even sometimes fear. Emotions I can relate too and emotions many of the other James Bonds fail to show sometimes. The 25th James Bond will be coming out I believe in the winter of 2019 and I am so happy Daniel Craig has returned to play the character. As I said earlier, if you haven’t seen the Daniel Craig Bond movies I highly recommend them. Even if you’re not a James Bond fan then I at least recommend you see Casino Royal.

Many apologies for this late post. I was meant to post it the other day but if any of you saw my last post, I’ve been feeling very down and quite suicidal. I’ve been feeling even worse over the last two days so I found finishing this post today difficult. I may write another post today about how I’m feeling and events that have been gong on with me but as the last post was so depressing I feel like I should just leave you with this one for now. Do any of you have thoughts on the character James Bond? Are you just of much as of a fan as me? If you have any thoughts or stories you feel like sharing about the character, just write something in the comments or if you just want to vent about what’s happening in your life then please do so. I’m not the only blogger on here who talks about mental health and a few of the people who are following my blog have really great blogs as well so I recommend having a look at them. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day :).