Going bald :(

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A lot of men go end up losing hair and going bald and 20% of men end up going bald before the age of 30. Sadly, I’m in that 20% :(.

I started noticing I was losing hair around 2 or 3 years ago. I basically had no hair on my crown and I got really worried and upset but, I didn’t do anything about it. It then started getting worse and worse. I’ve been using Rogaine since November last year but it hasn’t really worked and if anything, I’ve lost even more hair! My hairline has pushed even further back at the sides and the small bald spot I had at the crown of my head has got even bigger and moved even closer to my hairline. For someone who has depression, type 1 diabetes and memory problems, this is just icing on the cake. I really just want to die. Everyday I wake, 2 or 3 times throughout the day and before I go to bed, I think about ending my life. As my hair has been getting worse, I’ve thought about it more and more and it’s stressing me out so much. I dropped out of university so I could get well and go back but going bald is just making me more depressed. I don’t know if stressing about it is making me go bald quicker or if it’s a combination of things such as my poor diet and other health problems. I just know that it’s getting to the point where I need to shave all my hair off and it terrifies me.

As I’ve mentioned a million times, I can’t even get a girlfriend with hair! So what chances do I stand without hair! In my head, practically 0! All I want to do is cry and overdose on insulin but I can’t :(. I don’t know what to do. I went to see a consultant or hair specialist about going bald. We talked about having a hair transplant but it costs so much money! It’s roughly between £6,000 to £12,000 and as I currently only have £50 in my bank account, I’m quite a way off. The man I spoke to was quite nice as he said my hair was very healthy and getting a transplant now would be way to early. He said I probably won’t need one until I’m 30 but to take photos at the end of every month so I can see how fast my hair is going which I do, but it’s just making me more and more depressed. As well as that, I’m 27 so I’ve got less than 3 years! I’ve been buying Rogaine to try to help as well as other products such as Watermans Grow Me shampoo and conditioner. I’ve also bought Strand Maximizer to help. The problem with all of these is that it takes up a lot of time to use these products and when I’m going out, it either makes me late or stresses me out even more because I can’t get it done right or it takes up to much time.

I’ve been doing a lot of research into going bald, with the main focus on being if women find bald men attractive. I’ve put a few links to the websites I’ve viewed below if you want to have a look.  One of the websites had the pie chart below which are the results of asking 50 women if they mind dating a balding or bald man. 76% of which said no which has made me feel a lot better but still, that’s only 50 women and they don’t really go into too much detail about the study.

https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/what-50-women-really-think-of-balding-men

balding men statistics, what women think of bald men
Another link is to the student room which is asking students if they find bald men attractive. Most of them, saying no which makes me feel even worse as I am a student going back to university in September and I’ve never seen one bald guy there :(. Then I found a YouTube video of two women talking about bald guys being attractive and they said yes so :/.

 

I’m just really scared at the moment because I can’t get a girlfriend with hair, so how am I supposed to get one without hair. I know it’s stupid but being in a relationship and having a girlfriend is so important to me and this just lowers my odds even more. I think I need to start looking after myself better and maybe that will help my hair. Stop eating crap/junk food, start doing some exercise, stop taking too much insulin and not dealing with my diabetes and to try to distress myself.  I’m sure none of those things will stop or even slow down my hair loss but it might so it’s worth a shot. Even if it doesn’t, it might make me feel better :). My goal is to save money so I can eventually pay for a hair transplant but at the moment, I’m just trying my best to slow it down and cover it up. I know you’re meant to just shave your hair off as its way less attractive trying to cover it up but I’m’ just not ready to shave my head. I can’t :(. I just can’t do it yet. I’m not brave enough to take that step and I’d rather kill myself.

If anyone has any advice on hair loss or going bald, I’d really appreciate it. It would be great just to talk to someone about it and to someone who can relate or help. I just feel so down, alone and upset about it. Anyway thanks for reading 🙂 Feel free to message and leave comments 🙂

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4822880

Most//www.bbc.com/future/story/20160921-the-benefits-of-going-bald

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-mating-game/201612/do-women-find-bald-men-be-more-attractive

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blowing off steam!

punchbag

So yesterday I was thinking about making a post to do with the mind and thoughts you have but I just had an argument with my unofficial ex and I’m fucking livid! I’m sure everyone is sick of me venting about this but I made this blog so I could blow off steam and not do anything stupid to myself. If you have an ex or you’re just mad and you want to feel mad along with me then this is the post for you.

Me and my ex planned to meet tomorrow morning last week to vent and clear the air. I wanted to do this just under a month ago but nope, she was busy or gave some other shit reason why she couldn’t do it and now here we are. I messaged today to see if she was still coming by tomorrow. She said yes but she had the flu and that right there was the start of all this. I thought she was just going to cancel so I said “If you’re not well you don’t have too”. She said she wasn’t cancelling but then good old me said “I thought you were gonna cancel”. This started between 1-2 hours of arguing between us. That one comment that I couldn’t keep in my head. Have you ever wanted to say something to someone but just didn’t because you knew it would cause an argument? Could have been to anyone. Well she’s cancelled so many times that I just had to say something and the only reason I said it was because I didn’t think she’d get upset by it! I thought I can put how I feel in a delicate way without upsetting her. How was that even close to delicate? Moron. She then continued to have a go at me for not talking to her this weekend and then moments later she says she’s always busy! If you’re always busy, how the fuck am I meant to talk to you?! Agh! We then argued about how long she was going to stay until and because we’d been arguing for a while, I thought I’d ask if she was still coming by. She then called me a drama queen because I keep getting mad at her. So I put “No…I’m fucking mad that you ended things between us and you continue to treat me like shit!”. This led to us pausing the argument until now.

She messages me back a few hours later saying she’s a “little mad”. She says it’s because of me saying I’m mad at her and that she’s done nothing to me since she’s been back at university. I said let’s talk about it tomorrow when we meet up and but she said she wanted to talk about it now. She said “I feel hurt and mad” so I put “Well that’s how I’ve been feeling since you ended it”. Her response, “Stop fucking guilt tripping me for ending things man. That’s not fair.That was over like two months ago.”. This is where I decided to come on here and vent instead of doing something stupid. I just lost my cool. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get over this but it meant something to me and she’s fucking telling me I should be over it by now?! I’m finding being her friend really tough and she is making no effort at all in this and yet she’s the one that wanted to stay friends! I think it upset me so much because I’ve been holding onto the idea that we will end up together again and her saying that just proved to me it’s never going to happen. I’ve finally come to the realisation in my head that we’re officially finished. I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to say to her tomorrow for the last week and every time I do, I call her by my ex’s name. I hate her so much now, my ex’s name just comes up in my head when I think of what I’m going to say to her. That is so sad…

Thanks for reading if you did 🙂 . Apologies for the grammar and the terrible writing. I’m going to blame it on my anger and my sleepiness. I’m seeing her in less than 8 hours so if anyone has any advice that would be awesome or if you’ve had a moment where you’ve wanted to say something but didn’t, feel free to type it out here. 🙂